Friday, April 18, 2014

Blue

I haven't posted in awhile because I am in a bit of a blue funk.  I'm feeling ick and blech and slightly depressed.  Which is odd, as it is SPRING and I should be feeling glorious from the sun, the the grass that is starting to turn green, the crocuses poking through the dirt.

But instead I am feeling like while the earth is getting a new start, I am falling behind.

I am unhappy with where my personal life is.  I am discouraged about where I am emotionally, physically, financially, and every other which way.  I cry at the gym.  I cry at the office.  I cry in bed.

I am trying to make the best of this time, this season of new beginnings, of joy, of fun, but I feel bogged down by everything that needs to get done to make me feel better.  

Gardens need to get cleaned out, lawns raked, runs ran.  I am feeling out of shape and frustrated with myself.  "Why am I not stronger?  Faster?  Leaner?" "Where is the time?"  "Where is the money?"

I need to take a vacation away with my husband to rejuvenate.  To get a perspective and come up with a game plan for what I want, what we want.  But I know that even taking 4 days off from our life means we will fall even further behind.  Let alone the fact that we have about 17 spare dollars to our name and our time is fully booked almost straight through to the middle of June.

It seems as though there is nothing in my life I am able to control right now.  And I hate not being in control.

I feel like I am drowning (if I said "in my own tears" would you gag?  I would.) and until I'm on solid ground again, posts will either be far and few between or just as boring to read as this one.

Hopefully I will be up to cracking jokes or regaling the world with stories of my boring adventures soon enough.

Until then, happy Friday, lambs.


Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Goodwins Are Hell Bound

A little insight into why we are not ready to be parents yet.

Last night in bed we were talking about our friends and family who all have adorable children.  Really, they are all so blessed because they all produce some good looking spawn.

Granny: What if we pull the short straw and have ugly kids?  Or worse, kids that are cute only to us????
Mountain Man (with a complete straight face): We will just throw them outside and start over again.


Hand to God, we are actually good people.

We just need a little more time before we procreate ;)


Friday, March 14, 2014

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Running lately 2.0

After last year's disaster of a half marathon (I am proud I finished my fourth half, but having heat stroke was the worst) I decided to take a long break from running any sort of distances.  I decided not to have any halves on the horizon and if I never ran a half again, I was ok with that.  That heat stroke really did a number on me, and on top of that, I was feeling over running in general.

Since June 2013, I ran a couple of days a week, maybe three at most, and all short distances.  It was a wonderful break.  

But now I am back at it, training for another half, and I would love to PR, so I am trying to train hard.



I have been training since late January and will continue training until June 1, the date of the half.  I know that is a long training period, but I am trying a new plan, that has me going up to 15 miles, and I am tailoring it a bit to add double long runs of most distances (run 10 miles twice, 11 miles twice, 12 miles twice, and so on).  It is a long time to commit to running for 2 hours or so every weekend.  But So far it has felt great and I am so proud that my body is letting me do this once again.

Training for any distance in Vermont in the winter is tough.  It is snowy or icy or cold or dark.  The roads are not always safe with ice and snow buildup on the sides.  I am hoping the spring weather will be here soon so I can get my butt outdoors, but so far I have done all of my training on the treadmill we bought this fall (with the exception of a couple of short runs on nice days).  Side note to my husband who said I would never use the thing because "everyone who buys treadmills just discards them and uses them as drying racks."  HA!  I showed you!  Since buying it in November I have put over 300 miles on the old girl!

Today I had 11 miles planned.  I went down to the treadmill and my heart was not in it.  I did not want to run 11 miles today.  I was ready to run 11 miles if it was a lovely 50 degrees and sunny and all down hill and there were flowers and other people out enjoying spring, but it was 27 and I was running in my basement once again.  I walked down and said to myself "it might suck, but in less than two hours you will be done and you will feel great."  And my long runs recently have been wonderful.  Every weekend I hop on the machine and before I know, 6 miles are done and then 8 and then 10.  It has been easy running 9-11 miles for the last month.  It has been great.


But today I looked down and I had just barely done 4 miles.  I still had 7 long miles to go. At this point in the game, the point where my body is fully capable of running 11 miles as it has countless other times, it is mind of matter.  If your mind is not in it, a run is brutal.  Every MINUTE ticks by in your head and ever tenth of a mile feels like 3 miles.  At mile four I told myself "just make it to mile 6.  A solid hour.  Then run 11 miles next weekend instead."  At mile 6 I took a little break but then told myself, "just run to 7.  One more mile.  7 is so much more impressive than 6."  But as I was running that extra mile, I told myself, "keep running to 11.  You are already at 7.  And you have nothing else planned for this chunk of time today.  If you don't run to 11 miles you will lay in bed and watch 'House of Cards' instead and and you have plenty of other time to do that.  Just keep going."

So I did.  It wasn't fun, and it wasn't pretty.  But I ran 11 miles once again.  And I am so glad I did.  Partially for pride, partially to tell the voice in my head that it's NOT ok to quit, partially for the feeling I get when I accomplish something that is really hard, and partially to eat some half baked ice cream without guilt.

But mostly for the first three.


Happy weekend.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Crikey

As you read yesterday, I am officially ready for spring.  I think it is because it is now March, and the days are getting longer and longer.  I love that it is still light out at 6pm.  And I am seeing robins fly around (a sure sign that spring should be right around the corner.)

I can accept the fact that as much as I yearn for spring, there will most likely be more snow to fall in Vermont in March.  It happens almost every year.  As a kid we used to get huge snow storms in the middle of March.  I can handle it.

What I can't handle in March are these subzero temps. 


Bugger off winter, you old bitch.

Still shivering in Vermont,

Granny

Monday, March 3, 2014

Spring Fever

It is now March and I am starting to get the spring fever.  Knowing that we will not actually have spring in Vermont for at least another month, Mountain Man and I have been dreaming up our vacation all winter, someplace warm to escape to with all of our tax money.

Except we owe a number with too many zeros to Uncle Sam this year.  We will not be able to take a vacation.



So if all of y'all vacationing in the tropics would kindly stop posting pictures of tranquil waters, sandy beaches, tans, green lush plants, fruity cocktails, and anything remotely related to sun or warmth or relaxation I would certainly appreciate it.  

Y'all are breaking a girls heart.

Graciously,

(broke and buried in snow) Granny

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

It's been awhile...

This weekend my social media sites were ablaze with 
one wedding
two engagements
four births

Meanwhile, I just day drank and skied.



(And ran 10 miles, so there is that proud accomplishment.)

Happy Tuesday, fools.