Monday, December 17, 2012

The (long, rambling) post where I curse and cry

I have spent hours working on this post, trying to get my thoughts out without tears or anger or dry heaving.  I don't want to hurt feelings, I just want to get my thoughts and opinions out there; should be easy enough, but with this issue it is just the opposite.  I cannot find all the words I want to say and no part of me is up for debate.

On Friday my heart broke.  I think of those families and I break down.  I want to throw up thinking about parents losing their children far, far too soon.  I go numb, I am in horror, I am overwhelmed, I am in shock.

Immediately after that I get angry.  I get upset that our country, the greatest nation in the world, allowed this to happen.  He was a madman.  He was crazy.  He should have had help and support growing up so that this never happened.  I want to kick him, spit on him, and cry.  How could he do something so selfish?  He was the individual that did this, he was a horrible and harmful person and I hate him.

But I also hate how easy it was for him to access guns.

And here is where I start my commentary on gun control.

I want some form of gun control.  THAT DOES NOT MEAN, NOR WILL IT EVER MEAN, that I want to TAKE YOUR FUCKING GUNS AWAY.  Mountain man and I own a gun.  He hunts.  He grew up in a house with multiple guns.  And even he supports gun control.

I am not going to come to your door and say "give me all of your guns."  That is not practical.  But I do think we should have some limitations.  Let's ban assault rifles.  What the mother fuck do you need assault rifles for?  Because someone else has one illegally, we should all have one to one-up them?  THERE IS NO FUCKING NEED FOR ASSAULT RIFLES.  Lets leave the military grade weapons to the military and police force, not for you or me to buy.

There is also no need for hollow point rounds or magazines with 100 rounds or for people to have more than a certain number of guns.  And other than police officers and a few select others, I see no reason for anyone to have a conceal license.  The point of these things is generally to cause harm.  I do not want people walking down the street with the ability to have guns hidden in their jackets.  Especially guns that can shoot 100 rounds in a matter of seconds.  That is straight fucked up.  And internet sales of guns might be the stupidest shit that we do.

So yes, I want some sort of control.  I want some limitations.  The fact that it is HARDER FOR MY SISTER TO GET MARRIED IN MULTIPLE STATES THAN IT IS FOR HER TO GET A GUN IS WRONG.  I want it to be challenging to get a gun, I want their to be stricter laws if you get caught breaking any law with a gun.  I want it to be hard for psychopaths and sociopaths to cause harm.

I hear the arguments from the other side.  "If a psychopath wants a gun, they will find a way."  "Guns don't kill people, people kill people."  "THIS IS OUR RIGHT."

I do believe parts of all of those sayings.  If a psychopath wants a gun, they will try their hardest to find one.  But why NOT make it hard for them to do so?  What is the harm in that?  Maybe then they will try something different, something less effective, then say, walking into a school with THREE GUNS AND SHOOTING 26 PEOPLE.  A knife attack is not going to be the same.

Guns DO kill people.  A fucking psycho with a knife will just not be the same as a psycho with a gun.

And yes, it is written into the fucking bill of rights that we have the right to bear arms.  THE RIGHT.  But what about the right to live?  What about the right to send off our children to school with the expectation of safety?  The goddamn bill of rights says we have the right to bear arms to regulate the militia.  Not shoot up school children.

Legislation on gun control does not mean that people will just follow the new laws.  There are tons of laws right now that people do not follow, and yet they are still laws, and when someone breaks a law, we punish them.  Let's do that with gun legislation.

I keep hearing that if only teachers had been armed, this wouldn't have happened.  I want to scream and  actually hit someone when I hear this argument.  You want to PUT MORE GUNS IN OUR SCHOOLS to PREVENT SCHOOL SHOOTINGS?  What the mother fuck?

Why should we turn our schools into little prisons to protect our children?  Why is that the only option? Armed guards at the doors, permission to enter and leave the building?  That is the only option because we want to allow guns?   We want to "protect our children" by turning their safe havens into institutions that look like they are from a future horror movie rather than put limitations on guns?  What the fuck is wrong with you?

I know gun control is not the only issue here.  I know that we need to take a look at our culture, our society, our love and history of violence.  We need to focus on mental illness and remove the stigma around it.  We need to get people the help they need.  This is much bigger than gun control.  But why not start with the easiest thing?  Gun control does not have to be hard.  We can still hunt.  We can still have a handgun to protect your home.  But buying assault rifles will be illegal.  You cannot leave home with your "to protect your home" handgun.  You cannot buy tear gas, 100 round magazine clips, bullet proof vests.  All are illegal.  And if you get caught trying to do so without going through the proper channels?  You go to jail.  Tough shit.

There will always be violence.  There will always be a way to cause harm.  But why not do all that we humanly can to prevent that?  To protect our children?  Isn't it worth a shot to try?  What does it actually hurt to try some fucking changes?  There is a reason that countries with stricter gun control have no school shootings.  Let's just give it a try.

You want a gun nation and your right to bear arms?  Then you have to deal with schools being shot up.  That is on you.  You go explain to the mom and dad of any of the victims that you understand, but you will want your assault rifle so you can sleep soundly at night.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Most wonderful time of the year?

Is anyone else panicking because Christmas is right around the corner and you still have to buy gifts, wrap gifts, ship gifts,  find the time to watch all of your favorite holiday movies before the season is over???

Of the five holiday staples at Goodwin Ranch, we have managed to watch two:

"Buddy The Elf, what's your favorite color?"

"We're getting the Disney Channel now, Merry Christmas!"

And I just do not know when in the next week and a half we will find time to watch the remaining three.

"Merry Christmas.  Kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss you ass.  Happy Hanukkah."

"Merry Christmas ya filthy animal.  And a Happy New Year."

"love actually IS all around"

I hope to find some time next week and next weekend in between finals, buying-wrapping-shipping gifts, work, and cookie making to plant my ass on the couch and watch these classics before passing out due to a holiday-sweets (and holiday stress drinking) induced coma.

What is your favorite holiday movie?

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


Instead of regaling all my readers (Jenna) with stories of how stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted I am (I literally have to schedule time to read my book right now), I will share with you my weekend in pictures.

Seems to be the thing to do for bloggers.

This weekend I bussed it down to the Big Apple for a quick weekend with my sister.

Queue me singing Annie's, "NYC!" all weekend.

After 6 hours in traffic I made it.

We had a nice, relaxing time catching up and being sisters.  Eating, bickering, femming it up, etc.

36 hours after arriving in Manhattan I boarded that bus again and headed north to my mountain man and my big bed (sorry sissypoo, a double bed is not even a real bed).

And that was my weekend in a nutshell.

Hope you are having a nice week.  Tuesday, may you rot in eternal hell.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Scenes from a mid-week night

I had a thrilling night of homework ahead of me on Wednesday night.  At least a solid hour and a half.

But it seemed fitting to give up after an hour and turn on some Mumford and Sons and pour myself an adult bevie instead.

I have Senior-Christmas-itis.


Monday, December 3, 2012

Fa la la la la la la la laaaaaaaa

I got bit by the holiday bug early this year, so this weekend at Goodwin Ranch, my mountain man and I decorated for the upcoming holidays.

I dusted off the menorah too, but it is covered in old candle wax, so it was not quite ready for its close up.  But you just wait until that sucker is lit for the eight night, she will be glowing and posted in all her glory.

Happy December.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Full out, just stop

Dear friends who are posting or blogging about being pregnant or their newborn babies:
JUST STOP.  IT IS MAKING MY OLD UTE FEEL AS EMPTY AS A HOLLOW TIN DRUM.  That shit is yearning for a fetus.  So stop rubbing it in my not-yet-prepared-to-have-a-baby face.

(not entirely true.  I am also jealous of your tot.)

Dear friends who keep talking about all the snow they are getting:
STOP IT.  I haven't seen a good snow storm now since 2010.  I am ready.  More importantly, Mountain Man is ready, and he really needs a break.  Give me snowmaggedon.

Dear Ke$ha:
You come out with another song as catchy "Die Young" and that is in fact what I will do if I get caught again singing along to your song in public.

Dear Powerball Winners:
Just, fuck you.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Holidays Ruin My Work Ethic

Five day weekends all the time, please.

Happy I-can't-believe-it's-only-noon-on-Tuesday.


Monday, November 26, 2012

Thanksgiving Confession Session

I ran my slowest 5K ever on Thursday morning.  I brought my inhaler but as soon as I started out and whipped that bad boy out of my spybelt I realized it was empty. I had to slow my roll to the point that my roll was more of a walk for about 1/4 of the race.  

I did not eat one iota of turkey on Thanksgiving.  I had about an ounce of venison instead.  My parents always taught me to rebel.

Didn't buy a thing on Black Friday.  Don't plan to buy a thing today for Cyber Monday either.  Not because I am boycotting anything.  It is because my bank account is boycotting me.

Haven't gone for a run since my failure on Thursday.

Was planning to get back on track with the diet starting yesterday, but I walked into the office to find treats this morning.  Taking all of my will to not eat chocolate truffles for second breakfast.

And that is my Monday Morning Thanksgiving Edition Confession Session.

Good luck back at work today!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Obligatory Thankful Post

I am thankful that November is almost over so I do not have to read about what everyone else is Thankful for.

I am thankful that my Mountain Man does not participate in Movember.

I am thankful for stretchy pants with elastic waist bands all year, but particularly tomorrow.

I am thankful that on this day of Thanksgiving Eve I have been working from home and have yet to get out of bed except to pee once.

I am thankful for Vodka and Baileys mixed with chocolate pudding.

I am thankful to The Farmer's Wife for choosing me to be the winner of a new blog design by Melissa Rose Designs (That was my sneaky way of introducing you to my new blog with my new name.)

And I am thankful for small things that we never think of that add up to huge things: I am thankful that Mountain Man and I were born into the families that we were.  We are beyond fortunate to live the lives we do, surrounded by family and friends all with good health and access to good health care.  Without worry of missiles landing in our bedroom.  With money in savings.  With heat when we need it and a pool when we need that.  With Skype and dental care and Netflix and Gap Outlets.  With cars and trucks and travel and books.  I am thankful.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Reasons Why I'm Slipping into Depression (Part 1)

Minimizing booze and cutting calories until further notice.  Be forewarned.

(Image is a screen shot from one of my fave tmblrs, #whatshouldwecallme.  Google it.  You're all welcome.)

Happy Friday, Y'all.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Embarrassment for Blog's Sake.

Raise your hand if you were out of town for a meeting with your male boss (who is my dad's age) so you went out to grab dinner together and while you were there the waitress asked if you were on your honeymoon.


I'm the only one?

That's what I thought.

Peace out cub scouts,
Still embarrassed Granny

Thursday, November 8, 2012


While away in Sunny San Fran I got plenty of quality time with my young, hot and hip cousin Katie.

She is so hot, young and hip that she is in fact modeling out there now and is running for Miss California come January.

Standing next to her is great for my self esteem.


On my last evening with the precious peach that she is, Katie was somehow playing with my hair or cuddling my head or something else that is not at all unusual to the Pinkson cousins, when she started picking at my hairs and then proceeded to say:

"You have all of these gray hairs!  Want me to pluck them?  Why do you have them??"

Thanks for that.

Signing off for today,
Gray-haired Granny

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Help Us Settle a Bet

While watching an old Parks and Recreations last night, a guest on the show got Mr. G and I arguing.  We need outside help to solve this argument.

Does this woman:

look more like Juliette Lewis?

Or Lea Michelle?

Help me prove to my husband that he is wrong.

Thank you kindly, now back to your regularly scheduled Tuesdays.


Friday, October 26, 2012


TGI mother fuckaaaaaas

Big plans tonight to celebrate the end of the work week!

Post work run.  
Followed by homemade seafood risotto and a cocktail.
Followed by the most wonderful movie of all of the autumn.

Followed by snoozing on the couch with my man and an early bedtime.

If I am lucky I will find time to practice my sock bun as well.  But it is already shaping up to be a pretty wild Friday night, so we will see.

Party hardy,

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Don't Stop

No matter how tired you are and how much you are dragging ass, there is nothing quite like hearing Journey on your way into work in the morning to put a little pep in your step.

Happy humpday, people.

Monday, October 22, 2012

WIENERS (and winners)

Yesterday I had the privilege of participating in the Hallo-wiener hustle.

This elite race consists of a 4 person relay, at the end of which before you pass off your baton to the next runner you must run into a bar and eat a hot dog and chug a beer.

We sure know how to keep it fun in these here parts.

Our team name was "Show me your wiener."

We checked in and were given directions.  I was the anchor runner so I had some time to sit and watch how this whole thing was done.  I was nervous about being able to drink a beer and eat a hot dog after my leg but I pulled it off like a champ.

They do not post individual legs of the race, but I am pretty sure I ran my mile and a quarter and chugged my beer and ate my wiener (ha) in a total of about 11 minutes.

Which helped my team (possibly falsely) get first place for females.

We (again, possibly falsely) won a gift certificate for being the first finishing female team (say that ten times fast), but the real prize was meeting the overall second place winners of the race.

Overall, not a bad way to spend a Sunday morning.

Happy Monday!

Friday, October 19, 2012

PB Fail

If you were wondering, yes, the holidays are right around the corner.

Being the organized individual that I am, I emailed the PB family asking what the Thanksgiving/Solstice/Hanukkah/Christmas schedule and food plan was (I need to menu plan, people). I also asked for the holiday wish lists from my family (I hate crowds, let's get that shit bought and wrapped before "Black Friday" even rolls around) and sent them mine. 

The list I sent was:

-Garmin run watch
-kindle fire
-gift cards to iTunes and Sephora

This is the chain of emails I received back from the PB clan.

My dad and my sister are very loving, can you tell?  And my dad has a pretty dreamlike holiday wish list.  And mamma PB has no earthly idea what is going on. "What is kindle fire??" Bless her heart.

Which reminds me, I have a future blog coming up titled "Things you grew up hearing as a Pinkson-Burke that no one else on the planet has ever heard."

Happy Friday, folks!


Monday, October 15, 2012


How to survive a quick work trip to Phoenix:

Take advantage of your down time.

Get some tan lines.

Take a ride across the desert. (Preferably on a horse with no name.)

When crashing an $80,000 bar mitzvah, be discrete.

And make new friends who like work happy hour as much as you do.

Glad to be back home,

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


The typical Sunday at Goodwin Ranch is such a different experience for the two residents living there.

I understand that some people like a lazy day on Sunday.  I respect that.  I like to be a little lazy too.  

But I also like to, I don't know, breathe actual fresh air.  Brush my teeth.  Get dressed.

Generally on Sundays I sleep in a bit late (10) and lounge in bed for a solid 20 minutes, then get up and wash the dishes.  Then I proceed to clean the ranch.  Then I eat something of some sort to fuel me through the run I go on next.  After my run I relax in a hot shower and then do laundry.  I follow this titillating experience by working on copious amounts of homework.  I break from doing homework to go bake something (muffins for the week, etc) and start Sunday supper (think meatloaf, chili, stew, shepherd's pie.  Details are important here).   Sprinkled in between all of these activities are plenty of netflixed TV shows.  And I should note that I do my homework in bed generally.  So I am getting some "rest" in there as well.

But now let's look at Mr. G's general Sundays:

He wakes up around 8 and gets cereal and watches some reality cooking competition.  That is followed by 4 more episodes of the same show.  Then he switches it up to "Dirty Jobs."  Late morning he might decide to put in some football game into his play station.  Then he will reheat some pizza or make a grilled cheese.  He might help me sweep or put away the recycling.  While I am out running he will go back to a TV show, maybe "Trailer Park Boys" or more "Hells Kitchen/Master Chef/Chopped/Iron Chef/Top Chef/Kitchen Nightmare/No Reservations."  He generally switches out the laundry for me.  Then back to the tv show.  Around 3 pm he will again switch over to NFL on the video games, and then will either grab a milk or a beer.  Repeat until 7 pm when I sit down with him on the couch with dinner and force him to watch something that I want.**

Not once does he get dressed.  Nor does he brush his teeth. Rarely will he step foot outside.

It's a rough life for my husband, I tell you.

**It should be noted that this Sunday I broke Mr. G out of his routine.  I brought him to not one but TWO breweries for beer and food and fun.  CHAMP.  (I am sure he will make up for this by not leaving the house what so ever next Sunday).

Peace out cub scouts.

Thursday, October 4, 2012


It has been wet and damp here in the great state of Vermont for the last week or so.  And quite frankly, I am sick of it.

Good thing I will be relaxing here next week

with the weather shaping up to be quite nice

all compliments of the office.

Of course, I will be working the majority of the week, but my goal is to get a little color in my off time.

Tan fat is happy fat, folks.


Sunday, September 30, 2012

Wild Time at Goodwin Ranch

Friday night.

15 year olds are out with their friends, seeing a movie, doing a sleep over.

20 year olds are out with their friends, partying, bar hopping, doing wild fun stuff.

30 year olds are taking care of their babies and wishing they could still go out and party with their friends.

27 year olds (at least THESE 27 year olds) are...

Going to the gym.
Making dinner.
Watching a movie on the couch.
Giving up on the movie because that is too much of a commitment for a Friday night.
Watching "How I Met Your Mother," instead.
Singing show tunes to each other.
Slapping themselves in the face to stay awake...
only to sing more show tunes.
(Seriously, cannot WAIT for les Miserables in December.)

No, you didn't just hallucinate the lamest Friday night in history.

You just got a glimpse into the life of a Friday night at Goodwin ranch.

If you are really lucky, next time I will give you a sneak peak into our Sundays.

(Hint, Mr. G has not done one single thing other than watch TV and play video games today.  THRILLING.)


Monday, September 17, 2012

Running fail part II

I have been feeling a bit discouraged with my running lately.  Out of shape, out of breath, out of motivation.  I made the decision to not run Boston in 3 weeks and I was feeling better already about not having to do long weekend runs.  I normally love running, but when your body says "no" I tend to listen.  So now I have slowed down my roll with running but I am still feeling discouraged.  It just seems more challenging than normal.

Well on Sunday I was fighting all of the usual feelings that were telling me to stay in bed rather than to go for a run.  But I fought against the feelings, got up, and headed out the door.  I decided on a new 5 mile route that I was actually really excited about.  I headed out and the weather was perfect--lovely fall weather, the smell of leaves in the air, blustery, and perfect.  I was actually enjoying my run, waving to the other runners/walkers/bikers, even smiling at the plethora of cars driving by.  

It was just such a great day for a run, and I am feeling fantastic! I told myself as I jogged.  I love seeing all these other like minded people out running and being active with me!

But a grand total of 1 mile in, I started to feel an awful pain right below my...crotch.

Did I just saw crotch on my blog?

Either way, I was wondering why I all of a sudden was getting crotch chaffing one mile into my run.  This is something that generally doesn't bother me, and if it does, it is more like 12 miles into a run, not one mile.

So I looked down.

And almost died right there on the spot of embarrasment.

Because this is what I saw:

I somehow had managed to rip the inseam of my pants from crotch (there I go again with that word) to knee and didn't notice.  I was running for 10 minutes, waving to people, smiling, shouting out "how are you?" and "oh happy day!" (maybe that last line is a lie).

And they all saw me running with insufficient material to cover my lady bits.  And yes, it was really obvious, there was no hiding it.

And yes, it still hurts, thank you for asking.

Love, granny.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

What a week

I had lots of great things to blog about this week.

I was going to talk about how I was running on Sunday and made a stupid move and totally biffed it in front of 10 cars and scraped up my knee real nice.

I was going to talk about adjusting to work after 13 days of vacation.

I was going to tell you the story of how I asked Mr. G to go check on the hot water heater because the water was not getting hot and it had been twenty minutes.  But then it turned out I had the cold water turned on, and not the hot.

I was going to talk about the beautiful new purse I just purchased (she is arriving today!).

I was going to complain about feeling discouraged with my running.  And how I came to the decision not to run Boston in 3 weeks.

I was going to discuss fall, and how the fall weather last week, the start of school, the talk of football, etc, has made me aching a bit for fall, but overall, IT IS STILL SUMMER AND I AM NOT READY TO QUIT SUMMER YET.

I was going to talk about how after five years I am now back in school and how it is adjusting again.

I was going to tell you about how on my first day of school I spilled soup on myself AND salad all over my car so I walked into class (with a limp from my knee) smelling like chicken soup and onions.  And I still had arugula in my hair.  It was a great first impression, I think.

But all of that has fallen to the wayside, as this has been one hell of a busy week.

Maybe next week?  


Monday, September 3, 2012


In case you were unaware (of even if you were) my main man and I have been in France for the last 12 days.  We head back stateside tomorrow and while I will miss being on vacation, I am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, normal flush toilets, eating in restaurants that do not allow smoking and regaining some semblance of a normal life (i.e., grocery shopping, making my own healthy food and running.  And not living out of a suitcase).  

I am also looking for whittling away the lbs that were added to my waist line on this trip.

Turns out eating bread and cheese and meat, crepes, croissants and a bottle of red every day is not so good for fitting in to your skinny jeans.

But before I start a new blog series on a health regiment for after vacation (jk), let me regale you will some tales from a far.


Mr. G and I arrive in Paris 2 weeks ago and fell in love.  It is so old and beautiful.  We immediately collapsed in our first hotel and woke the next day to explore.  

We did the quintessential tourist shit and took a million pictures.

Then we hit up the TGV and took the high speed train to Lyon. 

I think I loved Lyon even more than Paris.  It is everything I imagined it would be.  Old, romantic, delicious, lovely...ah, oui, J'adore Lyon...

Then we TGV'd it back up to Paris for a week.  

We rented a flat (and by flat I mean 1 room that was smaller than any of my dorm rooms, and it had a murphy bed and pink toilet paper) in the Latin Quarter.  Turns out we were a nice 4 block jaunt to Notre Dame.  

Très Magnifique!

We managed to play tourists again (which I am sure would embarrass my sister completely) and we explored all of the famous sights the city had to offer:

Before we came to Paris, I purchased tickets for us to go up the Eiffel Tower on Saturday night.  Our reservations were for 10:30 (yes, PM.  I nearly died).  We were looking forward to seeing the view of Paris at night and fought our fading bodies to stay awake. We killed time to stay awake until 10:30 by going to pick up groceries for the next day, we stuffed them in our backpack and carried on. We forced ourselves to have a loooong dinner in a nice neighborhood.  Even after that it was still only 9:15.  We got cocktails and sat in the park with thousands of others and took in the spectacle that is the eiffel tower at night.

Finally, it was 10:30.  We got into our special VIP line (since I had pre-bought the tickets) and were like giddy school kids (the cocktails in the park did not hurt either).  And we were immediately searched.

Remember how I told you we went grocery shopping earlier to kill time?

Of course, being in Paris, we had purchased some wine.  

As in a wine bottle.

As in, "sorry, you cannot go up the eiffel tower with glass.  And no, we will not hold your backpack for you."

So no, we did not go up the eiffel tower.  Thanks for asking.

And that sums up our trip to France!


Happy anniversary, shnookums, I loved spending the last two weeks with you in ol' Paree.