Full out, just stop

Dear friends who are posting or blogging about being pregnant or their newborn babies:

JUST STOP.  IT IS MAKING MY OLD UTE FEEL AS EMPTY AS A HOLLOW TIN DRUM.  That shit is yearning for a fetus.  So stop rubbing it in my not-yet-prepared-to-have-a-baby face.

(not entirely true.  I am also jealous of your tot.)

Dear friends who keep talking about all the snow they are getting:

STOP IT.  I haven't seen a good snow storm now since 2010.  I am ready.  More importantly, Mountain Man is ready, and he really needs a break.  Give me snowmaggedon.

Dear Ke$ha:

You come out with another song as catchy "Die Young" and that is in fact what I will do if I get caught again singing along to your song in public.

Dear Powerball Winners:

Just, fuck you.