Dear friends who are posting or blogging about being pregnant or their newborn babies:
JUST STOP. IT IS MAKING MY OLD UTE FEEL AS EMPTY AS A HOLLOW TIN DRUM. That shit is yearning for a fetus. So stop rubbing it in my not-yet-prepared-to-have-a-baby face.
|(not entirely true. I am also jealous of your tot.)|
Dear friends who keep talking about all the snow they are getting:
STOP IT. I haven't seen a good snow storm now since 2010. I am ready. More importantly, Mountain Man is ready, and he really needs a break. Give me snowmaggedon.
You come out with another song as catchy "Die Young" and that is in fact what I will do if I get caught again singing along to your song in public.
Dear Powerball Winners:
Just, fuck you.