Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

I have been struggling with writing this post.  I want to get my thoughts out there, but not only are they personal and raw, the topic is kind of a downer.  With a lot of back and forth I have decided to post a bit about it.

It has been a rough winter at Goodwin Ranch.  Without getting too much into it, my general thoughts can be summed up as follows.

She is skinnier than me.  She runs faster than I do.  They make more money than us.  How could they afford to buy or build such a nice house?  How come they are buying and we are still renting?  She is prettier than me.  Their marriage is better than ours.  They vacation more than us.  They go on better vacations than us.  Why doesn't my husband cook or clean for me like hers does?  They live in a cheaper place than us.  Their cars are nicer than ours.  She dresses better than me.  Her skin is better than mine.  She is happier than me.

See a common theme?

I constantly compare myself to others.

The comparing is not the root of my unhappiness.  However, it does nothing to improve my well being, and instead does the opposite.

I am already thinking about the negative in my life, why should I make myself feel worse by comparing myself to anyone else?  This is a recipe for disaster.  I have no idea what anyone else's circumstances are to make them appear so perfect to me from the outside.  I need to learn to focus on what I do have and be thankful and grateful for what I already love and enjoy about my life and then I can overcome my negativity about everything else.

I need to remember that I live in a house.  It may be far away and we may be renting, but it is cute, and it has a roof and four walls and floors and heat and light.  That is so much more than other women my age have.

I may not run fast, it may be hard, I will never win a race or be as fast as my peers.  But I am doing far more than I have ever done before, and I am lapping everyone still sitting on the couch.

And on that note, I am struggling with my weight.  But unlike so many others who are struggling to get food to eat, I am beyond fortunate that I have to struggle with not tempting myself to eat seconds or dessert.

While things may be challenging in my marriage, at least I have a marriage.  I am not a single mom or going through a separation or divorce like other are.  It breaks my heart for them.

We have our health.  And our friends and family do to.  I am beyond blessed and happy that those who I love are not battling ailments or health issues.  Too many others are constantly driving to the hospital, paying medical bills, or saying goodbye to loved ones lost too soon.  

And while money is tight right now and we may not be able to take a vacation for awhile, we at least know this is temporary.  We take for granted that others our age have never gone on vacation.  Have never had to worry about paying their credit card bills, or fixing a broken computer because they have never had the resources to even go on vacation, have a credit card, or buy a computer in the first place.

I am having a hard time right now, but when I focus on the positivity in my life and stop comparing myself to others it makes things much easier.

Thanks for listening,

Granny