Full out, just stop

Dear friends who are posting or blogging about being pregnant or their newborn babies:

JUST STOP.  IT IS MAKING MY OLD UTE FEEL AS EMPTY AS A HOLLOW TIN DRUM.  That shit is yearning for a fetus.  So stop rubbing it in my not-yet-prepared-to-have-a-baby face.

(not entirely true.  I am also jealous of your tot.)

Dear friends who keep talking about all the snow they are getting:

STOP IT.  I haven't seen a good snow storm now since 2010.  I am ready.  More importantly, Mountain Man is ready, and he really needs a break.  Give me snowmaggedon.

Dear Ke$ha:

You come out with another song as catchy "Die Young" and that is in fact what I will do if I get caught again singing along to your song in public.

Dear Powerball Winners:

Just, fuck you.

Holidays Ruin My Work Ethic

Five day weekends all the time, please.

Happy I-can't-believe-it's-only-noon-on-Tuesday.

Granny

Thanksgiving Confession Session

I ran my slowest 5K ever on Thursday morning.  I brought my inhaler but as soon as I started out and whipped that bad boy out of my spybelt I realized it was empty. I had to slow my roll to the point that my roll was more of a walk for about 1/4 of the race.  

I did not eat one iota of turkey on Thanksgiving.  I had about an ounce of venison instead.  My parents always taught me to rebel.

Didn't buy a thing on Black Friday.  Don't plan to buy a thing today for Cyber Monday either.  Not because I am boycotting anything.  It is because my bank account is boycotting me.

Haven't gone for a run since my failure on Thursday.

Was planning to get back on track with the diet starting yesterday, but I walked into the office to find treats this morning.  Taking all of my will to not eat chocolate truffles for second breakfast.

And that is my Monday Morning Thanksgiving Edition Confession Session.

Good luck back at work today!

Obligatory Thankful Post

I am thankful that November is almost over so I do not have to read about what everyone else is Thankful for.

I am thankful that my Mountain Man does not participate in Movember.

I am thankful for stretchy pants with elastic waist bands all year, but particularly tomorrow.

I am thankful that on this day of Thanksgiving Eve I have been working from home and have yet to get out of bed except to pee once.

I am thankful for Vodka and Baileys mixed with chocolate pudding.

I am thankful to The Farmer's Wife for choosing me to be the winner of a new blog design by Melissa Rose Designs (That was my sneaky way of introducing you to my new blog with my new name.)

And I am thankful for small things that we never think of that add up to huge things: I am thankful that Mountain Man and I were born into the families that we were.  We are beyond fortunate to live the lives we do, surrounded by family and friends all with good health and access to good health care.  Without worry of missiles landing in our bedroom.  With money in savings.  With heat when we need it and a pool when we need that.  With Skype and dental care and Netflix and Gap Outlets.  With cars and trucks and travel and books.  I am thankful.

Reasons Why I'm Slipping into Depression (Part 1)

Minimizing booze and cutting calories until further notice.  Be forewarned.

(Image is a screen shot from one of my fave tmblrs, #whatshouldwecallme.  Google it.  You're all welcome.)

Happy Friday, Y'all.

Bubbie

Embarrassment for Blog's Sake.

Raise your hand if you were out of town for a meeting with your male boss (who is my dad's age) so you went out to grab dinner together and while you were there the waitress asked if you were on your honeymoon.

No?

I'm the only one?

That's what I thought.

Peace out cub scouts,

Still embarrassed Granny

perfection

While away in Sunny San Fran I got plenty of quality time with my young, hot and hip cousin Katie.

She is so hot, young and hip that she is in fact modeling out there now and is running for Miss California come January.

Standing next to her is great for my self esteem.

psych.

On my last evening with the precious peach that she is, Katie was somehow playing with my hair or cuddling my head or something else that is not at all unusual to the Pinkson cousins, when she started picking at my hairs and then proceeded to say:

"You have all of these gray hairs!  Want me to pluck them?  Why do you have them??"

Thanks for that.

Signing off for today,

Gray-haired Granny