Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Greetings Friend(s)

I've done it.  I have finally given in.  After always saying "who has time to create a blog?!" to all of my (two) friends who already have blogs, I have created a blog.

It was hard to decide on a name.  A few I threw around:
-Shaun John does your mom
-GOOD times with Mrs. GOODwin
-Granny Shauni's indigestion and more
-Scrawny Shauni's antacids (this obviously failed as my nickname is no longer Scrawny Shauni.  That died in the 11th grade.)

Clearly these potential names really prove that I lead an exciting life.

Although I do on occasion go do some fun and crazy things that normal 25 year olds do (just this weekend I stayed out until 3 am AND got an ankle tattoo.  So there.), generally you can find me living the life of a 83 year old.  I love to sleep.  Puzzles spike my blood pressure (yes, it really is high).   A glass of wine is almost always preferred over a snazzy cocktail.  I read about 112 books a year.  I sleep at least 8 hours a night and prefer to be in bed weeknight or not, by 10-11.  I sleep with a neck support thingy for my aching back.  I take antacids all.the.time because I have the digestive system of a 100 year old.  I like opera (sometimes).  I want to spend my Sunday's baking.  I am always cold.  I think young kids these days dress horribly.  I want to only wear pants with an elastic waist.  I carry everything you might ever need in my purse.  Replace Trident with Chick-lets and I am my bubbie.  So you see, it is only natural for the title of my fancy new blog to have a reference to my granny-ness.

Do you need further proof that I am a granny?

Ok, here I am halloween of 2007.  As a bubbie:

Ok, now that the three of you reading this know why I named my bloggity, let me get on to the actual post.

Today it is mid-term election day.  I voted.  Did you?  I hope so, or else you cannot read any more of my blog.  GOOD DAY SIR.

After stressing the importance of voting over Facebook, I came to work.  I made a matrix.  Then I spoke to my serial killing friend about really important things in life.  Like voting.  And the Kardashians.  (I should note, my friend is not a real serial killer.  At least I don't think she is.  Only time will tell...)  Then I ate some leftover Thai Curry that I made last night. 

 Last night when I made the curry I used regular coconut milk instead of the light stuff I usually like.  P. Chops was sold out of the light stuff, so I had to buy the OG stuff instead.  Stupid P. Chops.  Anyway, I made the curry with said OG coconut milk and instantly felt ill.  It was too heavy and fatty for my poor digestion.  I spent the night curled up next to Mr. G thinking that at any minute I was going to vomit.  I didn't, but I sure burped a lot.

Cut to this morning, when packing my lunch I packed the left over curry.  I did not want to, as it had made me ill the night before.  But Ricky the Recession Rat was at my house and he glared at me and said "Bitch, you cannot afford to throw away food.  You have to EAT it.  This is a damned recession!"  Try as I might to stare him down, Ricky won, as usual.  If you don't know Ricky, you are quite lucky.  He loves visiting my friend Stephanie and myself and telling us "how dare you even think about the $500 Frye boots you want.  Eff you, this is a recession, and you will buy your boots from Famous Footware."

Alas, I ate the too-rich-for-my-frail-stomach-leftover curry for lunch today, and yet again I felt ill.  Not even 6 antacids helped.

The moral of the story?  I have awful 90+ year old digestion.  This recession sucks.  And you should vote.

Love, peace, and Tums,
Shauni the Granny


  1. Congrats on the first entry. You killed it! I barked out a laugh in my silent office at being banished to purchase boots at Famous Footwear.

    I'm an instant fan as I read at least two books every week, I prefer yoga pants to all other bottoms, and chewable Pepcid AC is my most dependable linen closet lovey.

  2. Shauni you are hilarious! Congrats on the blog. I'll be sure to keep reading. xo

  3. Sorry - I should of told you - Sarahfair = Sarah George :)

  4. My favorite granny since the real deal :)


    (& your serial killah)