Really?

This is a true story, and it should not be surprising at all.  Of course the only excitement in my life comes from mother nature...

Last night when I left work it was 90 degrees and humid.  I decided to do my 4 mile run at the gym.  I ran, got sweaty, and left the gym to shower at home, my usual routine.

As I drove home, I could see the most insane lightening show, hear thunder, see trees bending from the wind.  It was the most insane wind I have ever experienced.  My car was having a hard time making it up the interstate it was so windy.  There were branches down everywhere.

I pull up to my 'hood and there are 6 trees down.  I make it to our condo and there is a lovely huge white birch down blocking my way in.  I park Caroline the Corolla on the street, sprint into the house and...no power.

Not only no power, but the house is soaking wet near all of the windows that we left open.  Papers from the table are scattered all over the house from the wind.  The dishes in the dishrack were blown over back into the sink.

"Ok, no big deal," I tell myself.  Power will be back on once the storm stops.

Then I got a call from Mr. G.  "I just watch the main transformer on Route 4 blow up.  All of Quechee is without power."  Fucking swell.

And then it hit me.  I was a hot, sweaty, stanky-ass mess.  And I couldn't take a shower.

Cut to me running out in the rain, trying to get as wet as humanly possible.  I dashed upstairs, stripped down, took a bar of soap and rubbed it all over me.  I then grabbed a wet wash cloth (still wet from the shower the night before) and rinsed myself off.

I am Pioneer Granny, doing it old school.

(*Note, I now know that if you are on town water you can use water, it's just not hot.  I grew up with a well, and when you have a well, you cannot use water when you don't have power.  I have always associated no power with no water.  Lesson learned.)

I finished with 15 coats of deodorant and an equal number of sprays of perfume to cover up any stench that was left.  And off to dinner we went.

We ate at our local bar by candle light.  They have a wood fired oven and cooked for us in that.  But other than that, every.thing. in town was out of power--gas stations, pizza joints, hotels, restaurants...no power.

We got home, still no power.

Let me tell you a little secret--I am one of those annoying people who cannot sleep without a fan.  Even when I travel, I bring a mini fan with me.  This is the number one reason why I hate camping; no fan.

Not only am I a whiny baby who cannot sleep without a fan, but it is summer, and it get's hot in our bedroom with no fan.

I slept a lovely total of 2 hours last night.  I was hot and sweaty.  It was too quiet.  It was so quiet I could hear the grass growing outside.  Every time Mr. G changed his breathing, I heard it.

When I was in a state of half-sleep, I kept imagining the power came back on.  And so I would wake myself up to see if in fact the power had returned.  It had not.  This happened at least 8 times.  I dreamt all night of my fan turning on to provide me with some noise and air to sleep to.

Not even joking, at 6:25 am, a whopping 5 minutes before my alarm is set to go off, the power came back on and my fan started whirring.

This is my life.

Tired, still dirty, grouchy,
Gran