That shit is bananas.
Speaking of bananas...(I'm good at transitioning, yo!)
I like myself a banana every now and again. However, being the freak show that I am, I only like my bananas with a mostly brown peel.
You know how parents use reverse psychology on you when you are kids to get you to do something you might not want to? Well my mom always used to tell me that the brown bananas were best because the brown spots = sweet spots. Being a kid who wants as many sweet things as humanely possible I loved that explanation and ate the shit out of extra sweet, brown bananas.
Turns out, my mom just told me that because she hated the brown bananas but didn't want to waste them by throwing them away.
So she fed me that line about brown bananas being delicious and I bought it, hook, line, and sinker.
Two decades later this whole brown banana thing has stuck with me and I still will only eat a 'naner if it's nice and brown. I follow tricks to make sure my yellow phallic shaped fruits are aged appropriately. I buy them when they are all separated (true story--if they are not connected they turn brown faster) and I sometimes store them in a cool dark place (again, they turn brown at a quicker pace).
On Saturday I bought myself four already separated bananas and put them in my fruit bowl assuming by Monday at least one little sucker would be delicious and brown.
But no, I was cursed with a still slightly green banana.
I literally gagged as I pulled back the skin and there weren't brown soft spots on my banana.
There are few things more disgusting to me than an under ripe, still green 'naner.
I did however find one extra sweet brown spot, which improved my dining experience ten-fold.
All of this is to say, I cannot believe today is only Wednesday.
(And my banana today better get a lot darker before I plan to eat it at 3pm.)
Your own personal freak show Bubbie