Friday, March 30, 2012

I want to be a millionaire

In case y'all haven't heard, tonight's mega millions is nearly 600 million smackaroos.

I'm feeling pretty good about my chances of winning.

(Side note, I had no idea how to buy a lottery ticket.  I went to a gas station/convenience store and had to ask if they sold them.  They did.  Whipped out my plastic to pay for it, because who the hell carries cash in 2012, and guess what, you have to pay cash.  God bless gas station ATMs.  And the sweet and patient girl who eventually sold me my tickets.)

 Tonight when I win big, I already have a plan of what Mr. G and I will be doing with the millions upon millions of our winnings.

First thing first, I would buy shit-tons of Apple products and make a room in my new state-of-the-art mansion that was literally made out of Mac goodies.  Walls made out of iPads.  Floor made out of iPods.  My desk will be made out of the iPhone and on it will be an iHome and a macbook pro.

I will buy an elephant and a monkey for the backyard and make them be best friends.

I would pay NASA to find a new planet and name that shit after me.

I would get gold everything, just because I can.

I would have a masseuse who lives in their own quarters in our mansion and I would get a daily, if not twice daily, massages.

And I would buy world peace.


(Calm your tits, animal rights activists.  I wouldn't really force an elephant and monkey to be best friends in my backyard.)

(They can hate each other if they want.)

In all honesty, after discussing our upcoming fortune, Mr. G and I decided to be the nice, humble, responsible millionaires.

Soon to be rich Granny


  1. I refuse to plan what I'd do with it. I think it will jinx me. All I know is that if the tickets purchased for everyone at work end up a winner, it sure is going to be empty here on Monday. :)

  2. you lie--you called your father to ask him where to buy a lottery ticket. then you called again to ask if you could use plastic. remember, i too know how to read!!