Lawd have mercy

By now you have all heard quite a bit about my only friend and local cousin, the hot, hip, young Katie. 

If you do not believe that she is hot, hip and young, please see exhibit A:

oops, sorry to embarrass you, Katrina, I just can't handle your baby cuteness.

Ok, please REALLY refer to exhibit B:

here she is with her sister, my other hot, hip, young cousin, Hannah.

If Katie and I were not cousins I would hate her.  Not because she is a bad person, a right-wing conservative, a skank, or dumb (all things that I reject friends for), but because she is TOO PERFECT.

Is the photographic evidence of her beauty/body not enough to convince you?

The other day, as I was struggling through week 6 of my double dub diet eating 3 point oatmeal, Katie texted me that she was eating thin mints for breakfast.  And she is all of, what, a size 2 (at the most)?  Then the next day, she texted me again to tell me how good her lunch was--it was a bag of Cheetos.  The crunchy kind.  The kind I love but haven't had for 10 years due to the fact that my waist is already huge.

Oh, and she doesn't work out.

Further more, she is 2 years younger than me, but makes 20K more than me.  

She stays out way too late having a social life and shows up the next day in sweats and no makeup and looks at least 87 times better than I do all done up.

And lastly?  As I complained last night about menstrual cramps, I looked at her and said "god, cramps suck, right??"

Her response?  "I don't know, I don't get cramps.  I just get huge boobs."

Gerren immediately looked at me (whilst thinking to himself, "shoot, I married the wrong Pinkson") and said "why doesn't that happen to you?"

Love your less than perfect Granny