Side-eye

I got the inspiration for this post from my cyber friend Stephanie, who has done a few posts about her pet peeves and things that she simple doesn't understand.

Because I am not as nice as Stephanie, I am simply going to make a list of things I hate. 

Sorry for the negativity so early in the work week, just wanted to put it out there so the rest of the week can  be all rainbows and puppies and shit.

1. Skanks.  Y'all know what I am talking about.  Skanks have been taking over my Facebook wall for weeks now.  Trashy tattoos.  Over plucked eyebrows.  Groomed facial hair.  Smack talking all over my news feed.  Cut the shit, kids.  Grow up, put on some clean clothes, don't drink until you black out tonight, and calm your tits.

2. Fake tanning.  I know, I know--back in the day, I had two experiences with tanning beds.  I went a couple times before my vacation to Florida.  I ADMIT IT.  But that was before spray tanning was readily available.  Now it is, it is safer, and you won't look like, well, A SKANK.  Because tanning beds and skanks go hand in hand.

3. Dropped calls.  What the what?  I fume just thinking about it.

4.  The Facebook app on my iPhone.  Only works about half the time.  How am I supposed to keep up with the skanks?

5. Speaking of Facebook, men, this one is (mostly) for you--I know it is hunting season and you are proud of your kill, but really, between all of the posts from the skanks all I see are dead animals. 

6. Slow drivers in the fast lane.  JUST GET OVER.  Do NOT drive in the fast lane if you are going any less than 71 mph, unless you are strictly passing a car.

7. When pants fit in the morning, but by the end of the day they are all saggy and wrinkly in the butt and crotch.  

8. The word "crotch."

9. The 5 day work week.  I want a 4 day work week, a 3 day weekend.  I don't even need it every week, but maybe every other??

10. Racists.  Even more than a straight out racist, I hate people who say they aren't racists, but then say something racist and follow it up by saying "no, I'm not racist, I have a black/indian/Muslim/hispanic/jewish friend."

11. This is stolen directly from Ms. Stephanie, but white people with dreadlocks.  This is not the 90s anymore.  Get on with it.  We get it, you're alternative.

12. Anyone who is opposed to gay marriage.  LOVE IS LOVE, people.

13. Dreaming about work at night.  This is completely unacceptable.  Especially on a Sunday after a wonderful weekend.  Weekend considered ruined due to these dreams.

14. Carpeting.  Especially wall-to-wall carpeting.  Especially in our condo.  

15.  People who are skinnier than me and eat like crap and never work out.  Could make a grown woman sob.

16. Uneven lists that do not end in a "0" or a "5."