First the facts:
-We just got a about 14" of snow on Wednesday. On top of what we already had, which was about a foot and a half.
-The local country music station is doing a contest to give away two sets of tickets to a huge summer concert. To be qualified for the contest, you have to do a "no shirt, no shoes" snow angel and send in a photograph.
-I really like country music.
-I am way to large and in charge to wear a bikini top, especially for a photograph that could ever be online on a secret website that starts with face and ends with book.
Please keep these facts in mind as you now read the below list:
1) I really wanted to go to the above aforementioned concert. At 6 pm EST Thursday night, only 11 people were qualified. The contest ended at 8 am Friday morning, EST. I thought, "if I enter this, my odds are pretty good."
2) After sitting and staring at the freezing snow and the thermometer that said it was 18 degrees out, I was able to talk myself out of entering said contest.
3) Five minutes later I had changed my mind. The heat was blasting throughout the house. Slippers, sweatshirts, towels and blankets were lined up next to the back door.
4) I trained Mr. G how to take pictures of me as fast as possible in the snow.
5) I shoved my bulging belly into (literally) an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini and that is about it. I also added (for good fun) a neon green winter hat and a hot pink cocktail glass to take out there with me.
6)While screaming, I dropped backwards into the fresh new thigh-high powder. I made my snow angel, made Mr. G take a two pictures and I immediately jumped out of the snow, near tears, and ran into the house, grabbing sweatshirts, towels, slippers, etc, as I ran across the living room tracking snow all over. I did not even care that my stomach fat rolls bulged in front of my new husband. I was that cold.
7) When I came back from the frozen death by standing (sitting on?) by the fireplace, I had Mr. G come show me the pictures. I looked and...MY FEET WERE NOT IN THE PICTURES, thus I was unable to prove that I was not in fact cheating and wearing shoes. Poor Mr. G felt even worse than I did for accidently messing this up.
8) I had to jump back into the snow, bikini and all, and retake the picture this time with my feet in it.
8A) Did I mention I am dying of hypothermia?
NOTE: there is no more photographic evidence that I was ever in a bikini in the snow. It has been deleted from my computer and my camera. There is only one lone picture, and yes, it is on the social networking site that we all know and love. But it is not, nor will it ever be tagged, and you will never, EVER find it. If you do, I will defriend you on said social networking site and in life.
still frozen and still hopeful to win Granny