Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Shit I Hate, Volume II

So a few weeks ago when I wrote that list of shit that I hated, I got a lot of feedback.  And lord knows, that was not the only shit I hate.  I hate tons of shit.  So I decided volume two of "Shit I hate" was required.

And today you are in luck.

Here I go!

1.  Greek Yogurt. (The ONE and ONLY exception to this is Chobani peach flavored greek yogurt, with Splenda swirled in.)

2.  Pimples.  I am nearly 27.  What am I doing with an entire forehead of acne?  And you know what is just as bad/if not worse??  Bacne.

3.  Those mother fucking stickers people put on the back of their cars that have stick figure families.  You know the ones.  Extra hate coming your way if there are more than 3 children, if everyone is wearing Disney hats, or if you have a million pets.  Extra-extra hate your way if you are the woman in Lebanon, NH who drives a suburban with this sticker that includes the two perfect parents, 7 kids, four cats, and a matching license plate that says "7kids."

4. Getting chips in my nails (bless you, Gel Manicure.  Me love you long time.)

5. Feminine Napkins.  No explanation needed.

6. My period in general.  Please see previous bullet in list for explanation.

7. Finding crumbs on a counter or table.  CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES, MOTHER FUCKERS.

8. Men in skinny jeans.  Bonus hate if they are gray jeans, you are wearing a v-neck, and also a huge scarf.  Bonus-Bonus hate if there is a fedora or floppy winter hat on your head.

9.  When people confuse "to" and "too," "there" and "their" and "they're," and "your" and "you're."  What I hate even more is people who confuse shit that should not be confusable, such as "are" and "our." 

10. The Twilight movies.  To sum up my hatred, please read THIS.  Go fuck yourself, Bella Swan.

Ok, I think that is the last edition of "Shit I hate."  Anything you care to add to the list?

Love always,


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I share your hatred for Twilight... especially for Kristen Stewart.

  3. Sing it, sister. Kristen Stewart is one of the world's biggest buttholes.